I didn't mean to say you didn't; I was just trying to explain my thoughts at the time. Preparing for the end... looking beyond it wasn't a priority for me, and I needed something to hold on to.

I think he'd want the same thing; and I'm not keeping it because I don't want to find someone else, or because I'm afraid of being disloyal to his memory. I may not date much, but it isn't as though I've been celibate since he passed away. I just find it... reassuring. Knowing that I have the option, if I ever decide I'm ready and I'm alone.