☤ thirty-seven

[as_damaged]

I have my husband's sperm. Frozen.

Comments

[dr_conscience]

I'm sure you already realize that there's nothing unusual, strange or wrong about that.

[as_damaged]

I know. It isn't an uncommon practice with terminal cancer.

[dr_conscience]

It's one that makes sense, too, for a lot of people. Keeping a part of someone you love is one thing-- a wedding ring, a favorite piece of clothing, pictures, but... this is literally something of them that could give life. It's reassurance to him that he still has a chance of leaving a child to carry on his legacy, and reassurance to you that the possibility is always there, even if he isn't.

[as_damaged]

I don't really like the idea of raising a child alone. Not because I don't think I'm capable, or anything like that. But I'd rather have the option. It's not any more tangible than my memories are, maybe, but it feels that way.

[dr_conscience]

I'm sure you'd be capable, but I can certainly understand that. It should feel that way, though. It is an option, a real one, and... it does mean something to have that.

[as_damaged]

He was a good man.

[dr_conscience]

I'm sorry.

And-- I'm fairly certain this is related to today's curse, that you didn't want to post it, or talk about it. I shouldn't be encouraging it. Though... well, I know it's years ago, but if you ever do want to talk? I don't imagine I'd be your first choice, but I'm here.

[as_damaged]

I appreciate the sentiment. There isn't much to talk about; I miss him, but I'm accustomed to living with that.

[dr_conscience]

I know.

I just also know that the City has a way of dragging up things that you'd rather it left where they'd managed to settle.

[as_damaged]

It's a little tiresome, having to explain things aloud. But I think about it often enough without the City's interference.