as_damaged | ☤ twenty-two

Entry tags:

☤ twenty-two

A (Partial) List of Locations.

in no particular order

HOME;
-My apartment (once while high)
-Chase's apartment
-exam room
-patient's house (with cat watching)
-sleep lab
-House's bed
-janitor's closet
-backseat of my car, on the way to lunch
-park bench

CITY;
-exam room
-Chase's apartment
-My apartment
-carousel cart
-elevator of building 12
-stairwell of building 3

I'm forgetting some, I think.

[ooc; We Did That? sob. trying not to be obscene, but be warned she will likely reply in greater detail.

EDIT; LASER TAG, BBL GUYZ ♥]

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You didn't mean to lead me on? No, you just thought you'd try the same thing here and maybe I'd have different feelings about it. That makes perfect sense.

Interesting that you keep coming back to something you're afraid of.

It was a stupid idea. If you want to smugly tell me that I got what I deserved for it, go ahead. For the record I don't think it was fair of you, anyway. To either of us.

[NOTE THE CAREFUL OMISSIONS HERE. She does not want to talk about this. Nope nope. Because lies are self defeating, have some silence instead.]

Apparently I can have stupid ideas, too.

[Newsflash, obviously. And yes he didn't get an answer to his sort-of-question, he knows.]

It wasn't fair, and I ended it. But by your reasoning there shouldn't have been a problem. If you're not looking for any kind of emotional connection, for even the potential of that storybook ending, why the requirement for exclusivity? Etiquette?

Call it that if you like. I wasn't seeing anyone, as far as I knew you weren't seeing anyone. Sex is fun. I like having fun. It fulfilled a mutual need-- what I thought was a mutual need-- and I didn't expect anyone to get hurt.

Maybe you trust the other people you're seeing, that doesn't mean I do. If you're putting my health at risk I have a right to know.

[Sigh, she knows that's a lame excuse.]

Yeah, you're the poster girl for fun, Cameron. As long as you've planned it six weeks in advance and cleared all activities with health and safety. You're not seriously making this a contraception issue?

Person. Other person I was seeing.

[Sigh, with all the switching between defensive and guilty he's starting to feel bipolar.]

You should know the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.

What do you want me to say.

[That is a loaded question, and he doesn't have any quick response to it except to sigh. There's some noise in the backround: he might be crossing the room and slumping onto a bed or couch.]

I want to know what you want. If there's anything.

[Sigh. As though that's a simple question. One has to know what one wants in order to tell someone else.]

I was satisfied with what we had, and you weren't. What does it matter?

It matters to me.

You want more than I can give you. We've already tried compromising, and it didn't work.

And that's it. Do you want me to pretend this never happened? Shouldn't be too hard, considering most of it hasn't, yet.

I really didn't mean to hurt you.

I liked being with you. Enough that I thought... It was selfish, and even if you hadn't been seeing someone already it probably would have ended terribly.

But I can't say what you want me to.

Sometimes things end, Cameron. Sometimes they end badly. But that's a crappy reason for never starting anything.

There's nothing I want you to say.

It isn't fair to you, though. To start something when I know how it's going to end. If I thought you could-- [Pause for breath, because if she lets herself babble in this state, she's going to regret it.]

You want more than just sex. Or you did, or you will. I can't ask for anything from you.

I don't want anything, so I think we're fine.

And, done here.

Right.

I'm sorry.

Do me a favour and don't be.

Why wo--

[picture her chewing at her nails if you like. This feels awfully backwards, which only leaves Cameron feeling guiltier.]

I'll leave you alone.

[silence, for a while. The kind of silence that is just someone breathing, quietly, at the other end. And then,]

[disconnected.]

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☤ twenty-two

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