as_damaged | ☎ voicemail

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[ooc: you know the drill, if you need her and there's no recent post &c &c. whatever. ♥♥♥]

I know.

[God, that's the stupidest thing she could've said, isn't it.]

I don't know why I couldn't just say it. [You can hear the stupid half-grin, half-grimace she's wearing right now in her tone.]

It might have helped.

[Chase, on the other hand, may be considering smothering himself with a pillow. There's something he promised I'd tell her. No time like the worst possible.]

I asked Angela if she wanted to give things another try. Casually.

[There's a long silence on her end. She can't help it, she's thinking of other things. Her husband, her husband's best friend, and if she believed in the divine maybe this mess would be retribution for falling in love with the wrong person at the wrong time, even if she never broke her vows.]

Oh.

You told me--

[He cuts himself off with a snap. That's not fair: if he'd known, he still doesn't know which way he'd go. If he'd be able to go either.]

I thought you might appreciate not having to worry about my putting things on hold. And I... I like her.

I know you do.

[So much for being honest. It might have been a relief, honestly, if she hadn't made herself so vulnerable first. A legitimate excuse not to pursue him. Unfortunately for her...]

Then I guess we have nothing more to talk about.

[Remember that neat, rational disinterest? This is why she does it.]

[He'd asked what she would do, that afternoon at the coffee shop, and she'd dismissed it. That had been the last chance he'd given himself with her. Nothing about this place is rational.]

Wait, [Oh yes, he knows that tone, and the last thing he wants is to go back to it.] nothing more?

You're with her. I'm not going to stand in your way.

[What she says and what he hears don't always match up; at the moment she's too crestfallen to blame anyone for that. It's too little, too late. Better to move on, pretend it doesn't bother her.]

That's not... all I meant.

[The edge to his voice doesn't want her to hang up like this, and not just because working with her after a night stewing on this is going to be a bitch.]

I was wrong.

Wrong about what?

[Easier like this than it was at home. There, she could be mad at him for calling her bluff, breaking their rules. Here it's all her fault and the curse's, all she can do is shrink away.]

We see the arse end of things. Statistically there are far more people who die in bed, happily, next to someone they love.

[Shrinking is worse than yelling, in his book.]

Not everything ends badly.

[Getting nasty serves no purpose when he knows it's a facade. Shrinking saves a little face.]

That's true.

[She rather doubts she'll be one of them, though.]

So don't start things backwards.

[Maybe that way they'll actually start.]

[She doesn't know what to say to that. It won't make a difference, here, and she won't remember it at home.]

I'll keep it in mind.

[He half expected a lecture on telling her what to do. There again, she did post a dear Abby note on the network.

It's on his tongue to ask if she's alright. If he can come over. Old habits, avoidances, die hard.]

You in tomorrow?

[The lack of a lecture is not necessarily a good sign. She's fine, though; or at least, she's calm and collected enough not to show how fine she isn't. Some people forget curses, after; she's never been that lucky.]

Yeah. I'll be in.

[She'd rather not see him. But the less affected by this she seems, the better.]

Maybe you should get some sleep.

[This time more carefully phrased as a suggestion. It's 3am, and if they both come in looking like extras from Night of the Living Dead House will put two and two together to make sixty nine.

And he doesn't want to be the one to hang up. This has been... difficult, and confusing, and in it's way miraculous. She has feelings for him. He's a jerk. A jerk she has feelings for.]

Probably.

[She hasn't been sleeping well lately, no surprise. Unhappiness and insomnia seem to be catching. Though, thus far, she's hidden it well.

Thus far.

She's a little hesitant; this all feels so final. Maybe he'll try to forget it, for his own sake. She hopes so. Tiptoeing around her, trying not to hurt her feelings, would only further bruise her pride and sometimes, really, that's all one has.]

Good night.

[He's no good at tiptoeing, which isn't to say he won't be around, or that he won't hurt her feelings, somehow. He won't mean to. This whole thing feels backwards, and if he could stop her one more time to say he made a mistake, he would.

He didn't, he just made a choice. They both know the one he's made here can only exist as long as he stays. At home, maybe things will run differently.]

Night.

[He holds on until the disconnect at her end.]

[It doesn't feel any less like she's lost, though. As temporary as this may be, maybe that's only because he's never met Angela in the real world. Maybe she's been second-string all along, and only had the good luck to be there without competition. She doesn't know, either; none of this has happened, not really. Which makes it all the easier to dream up the worst.

There's a moment of heavy silence as she searches for something more to say, then the soft click as she hangs up.]

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